Devastation and grief at losing your job

The last few weeks have been hell. Very stressful and anxiety inducing indeed. One minute we have investment in the company, then we don’t; then two bidders come along wanting to buy at least half the shops, then they are outbid by one person who wants to buy 90% of the shops. Then that falls through. Then we have someone else in the wings who wants to buy the entire company. And the courts pull the plug.

During all this time we are sat in our shops with diminishing stock, bored out of our brains and not getting paid on time or in full (but getting it eventually).

Within the space of two hours friday afternoon, our worlds fell apart. We went from a saviour for all of us to a conference call instructing us to shut the shops immediately, we are no longer trading.  The speediness with which this was implemented left us all with no real time to process it.

I feel grief at losing my work family, devastated at the loss of my job, unadulterated anger at senior management for running a brilliant company into the ground and ruining it for approx 1000 people.

After spending the weekend feeling utterly emotionally and mentally exhausted resulting in a lot of sleeping, here I am, monday morning with nothing to do. I should be going to work, doing the paperwork, counting money and getting the shop ready to open. I should be catching up with my assistant manager and having a good old chinwag as we always do monday morning.

I feel lost, without purpose.

Somehow, I don’t know how, but I usually land on my feet one way or another. Obviously I need to find another job and honestly, it doesn’t have to be a managers job, as long as it pays the rent and other necessities of life, I will be happy.

But I am left with a quandary: with all endings comes beginnings, that is the way of life.

So, do I stay in retail and if so, do I take on a small shop of my own (can’t afford to take on my old shop, its too expensive sadly) or do I just look for any old job to see me through the summer?

Or is this not just an end to our shop, it is the Universe saying time to move on from retail and do something else entirely.

I am toying with the idea of coaching, specifically small business coaching and life coaching. In fact I have been toying with the idea for a number of years but haven’t done anything about it. Maybe now is the time?

Today though, I am still in shock at the abruptness of the ending of our company whilst trying to release several weeks of anxiety and stress. I need to get my head back in the game before I can make any decisions.


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