Recently I seem to have been surrounded by pregnant customers in the shop who are all at the same stage I was 24 years ago. And it’s made me feel rather broody. Now obviously I am far too old to have a baby, seeing as I am 52 this year (when did that happen?!); not only that, I’ve been through the menopause as well as being sterilised a long time ago. So clearly, there are no more babies for me.
But that hasn’t stopped me feeling broody in the slightest.
Yesterday a friend called in the shop with her little girl to show me something. She was walking! All by herself. I’ve watched this little one turn from bump into baby, cuddled her and seen her development over the last 20 months, so it was such a delight to see her walking. She wanted to go up and down the steps into the shop holding my hand and I was immediately transported back in time.
I loved being pregnant but there are no photos of me during this special time at all because my parents tried their hardest to make me feel ashamed of being a single mother. I loved having this small person to cuddle and call my own, raising her into the amazing young woman she is today.
She, in turn, has only ever had one true goal in life and that is to be a mum. Since the age of 4 she’s asked me religiously every year if she can have a baby yet. Let’s be clear here, she didn’t want any baby siblings, oh no, there was and still is, no way she wanted to share me with anyone. She only wanted one of her very own.
As she’s grown up, I have lightheartedly joked that she can’t have children until she’s 28 – the same age I was when I had her. When the conversation arises with friends about having kids, she tells them mum says no, not yet, she has to wait 😉
Well, I’m about to do a complete U-turn.
I am now beginning to understand the broodiness that parents have when they want to be grandparents. Is this something biological within women? I’m sure there is some research on it somewhere, some anthropological reason that’s based on our need to keep our tribe going.
For now, I shall have to wait patiently for this momentous occasion. I don’t believe in meddling or putting any outside pressure on our children to fulfill our needs. It’s her life and it will happen when she’s ready. Even though I can’t wait be called Granny 🙂